Please Be Gentle
A Different Massage, A Recovering Striver, and a Yoga Practice for You
Four years ago, if you suggested I get a massage for stress or relaxation, I would have said, thank you but no thanks. I really didn’t like them. Even if I felt kind of okay during the massage, I always left feeling like it was a waste of time. I didn’t feel better, I didn’t even really feel different afterwards. They just seemed like something people did for self care or rehabilitation.
Then, in 2022 I had a massage that changed everything. I was leading a retreat at Lake Atitlan in Guatemala. One of their massage therapists had a very kind but strong vibe, and I resonated with it, so I booked a session with Paola.
I think because I have a strong frame and am fairly muscular, body workers love to dig in and try to make me feel a deep impact. They didn’t make me feel safe, or cared for, or even heard. But this was different. Paola’s touch was more light, much slower, and I just melted. I remember saying with tears in my eyes, “It’s as if you care.” She just hummed, and continued her graceful work helping me release unconscious tension and dropping layers of armor, inside and out.
So imagine my joy when I found someone here in Austin who practices with gentleness, compassion, and deep listening. She doesn’t try to press my muscles and fascia into submission. She gently asks permission from my whole system, and responds respectfully. She’s where I learned all about Polyvegal theory, and how our skin is the outermost part of our nervous system. She reiterates that our body wants to heal, and it intrinsically knows what it needs.
Her name is Danielle Evans, and she’s my latest guest on the Room to Evolve podcast. You won’t want to miss this conversation about the nervous system, the spectrum of sensitivity, and what’s going on at our deepest level when we talk, hug, or receive a massage. She amazes me with her wealth of knowledge and compassionate view of all those she encounters.
The Nervous System Responds to a Whisper
Polyvagal Wisdom, Bodywork, and the Art of Gentle Healing:
A Conversation with Danielle Evans
I’m curious about how you feel about gentleness. Does it seem like a waste of time? Does it not feel like enough if it doesn’t hurt a little?
And now I’m not just talking about massage.
To those of us who were born strivers, but are slowly recovering, it can be a hard pattern to break. Idle hands aren’t just the devil’s playground. They’re a trigger to the “not enough” kind of devilish thoughts you would never let to your best friend say about themselves. But I think that’s the work: do life as best you can, then be gentle with yourself.
When I think of gentleness, I also think of Creation. I’m not saying Mother Nature is always gentle. She’s not! Look at the storms, the earthquakes, the wildfires. But the way she unfolds is. A flower opening cannot be forced. Leaves changing from green to yellow to orange to brown takes time, not effort. A baby giraffe reaching her full height cannot be pushed or rushed.
So as this summer season wanes and we gear up for the back-to-school Autumn energy, which we feel regardless of our academic connection, let’s be gentle when we can. I’m all for showing up and giving our all. And this season, I’m adding gentleness to the other side of that coin. Care to join me?
May you listen to the whispers of your body, mind, and spirit, and may you experience gentleness as a quality to be celebrated.
Much love,
Jessica
An Offering for You:
This VERY gentle yoga practice is from my Online Yoga Membership live Hatha class. It is inspired by my recent conversation with massage therapist Danielle Evans, and how it’s often the gentlest movement, pressure, and effort that creates the most lasting and healthy effects. This practice challenges us to slow down and pay attention, only moving when an invitation is received and replied with a YES.
After this practice, I encourage you to continue to notice how you feel today. You might be a little more sensitive, pensive, or perhaps disturbed, as something that needs your attention has found its way to the surface. Please hold it all with love, grace, and compassion.
Our Spotify playlist was VERY soft, so you might like to play the music separately while you play the video. It’s a LOVELY arrangement.
The link to the playlist is here: Peaceful Meditation
An invitation for you:
Hidden Things: Pilgrimage to Chartres Cathedral
October 3-10, 2026
Answer the gentle call to adventure…
This profound and thoughtfully curated experience will take you on a journey through Chartres, Paris, and into your own soul, seeking and finding the hidden treasures of purpose, inspiration, and divine connection.